It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I’ve been a little busy. Three boys prove to make life mostly insane. Honestly, I’ve savored the last bit of “baby” from our youngest, Silas. He is 19 months old now. While I could’ve written, I chose to be present in family. Words and thoughts were there, wanting to be put into life, but when I would begin to write… It was clear that wasn’t where I was supposed to spend my energy. So I didn’t. That’s all!
Now, I’m entering a different part of life. A transition. A rough area. A life changing event. My Dad’s health is deteriorating. With that comes emotional overload and racing thoughts. So, this morning I prayed. Honestly, my spiritual life has been calm and not as prominent lately… Peaks and valleys, right?
Today was the first time I’ve prayed, like really prayed, in a while. I’ve prayed for others many times, but I haven’t soul prayed in a long time. Just being honest here. This time I prayed for God’s will. I prayed for my dad to have comfort and peace of mind. I prayed that he feels God everyday and that God stays close with him. I prayed that when my Dad is feeling sad, pain, or any of the multiple emotions running through his brain every minute, that God would just wash peace and calmness over him that only HE can provide. I prayed for God to surround my Mom and give her peace. I prayed for My Sister. I asked Him to comfort her when she starts to feel sad, for Him to help her to never feel alone, to calm her soul when it feels like it can’t be tamed, and when she feels like she can’t breathe for Him to breathe life into her.
For myself, I prayed for God to use me today in some way to help others. I prayed to think His thoughts, to say His words, and that my actions be pure. I prayed for my racing thoughts to become clear, for them not to leave me, but to gain clarity about all the thoughts and emotions I’m feeling.
And, I prayed for my day to be bright. The sun was shining all day, it was 60 degrees in January, and I have peace in my soul. I don’t have all the answers. I’m still sad. But, for today… I am who I’m meant to be. Isn’t that all we are promised… Today?
Draw Near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8