“Mama says that happiness comes from little rays of sunshine.” Mama Boucher “The Waterboy”
My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no “toothbrush.” Mama Boucher “The Waterboy”
“Mama said knock you out.” LL Cool J
“Mama said there’d be days like this.” The Shirelles
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” Mrs. Gump “Forrest Gump”
“You have to do the best with what God gave you.” Mrs. Gump “Forrest Gump”
“My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.” Mrs. Gump “Forrest Gump”
“Once past the lips forever on the hips.” Donna Wyatt (My Mom)
Moms always have words to say. Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong, sometimes they are funny, and sometimes we remember them because as they were being screamed at us, we thought we might die. Moms. Now I’m one. I get the privilege of attempting to not screw my kid’s lives up on the regular. It’s a fun game.
In the life of Robyn last week, a few things happened.
#1. I found out yesterday that my oldest son, Phoenix, told a kid at his school that I pulled a knife on him. ***He has a very vivid imagination*** And, for those of you who have been around our house, this may not seem like a far stretch, because knife pulling HAS happened… just not by this chick! Last summer Phoenix and Griffin were fighting in the kitchen over something stupid, I’m fairly certain. I let them make their own lunch, sandwiches… Bread, meat, cheese… Easy enough, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought. It had been a peaceful sandwich making experience until I started hearing squeals. Phoenix is an ultimate squealer. He forgets to use words and just goes pig mode. Griffin started screaming back at him, and then heated movement followed. I look in the kitchen, and my 4 year-old and 6 year-olds are standing with butter knives pulled on each other, pissed off because they both wanted to use the butter… at the same time. They had that crazy look in their eyes like a Viking about to charge a buffalo. Boys… Anyway… So, Phoenix with the “My Mom pulled a knife on me” thing last week… That was super awesome. Thank God he admitted that he was just “making up a story”. He’s super into “stories” right now, (otherwise known as lying). One thing is for sure, he is a very creative kid. I’d just rather it not be at my expense or involve me going to jail.
#2. My Mom called and asked me to ask Griffin why he had to sit out 5 minutes at recess one day. I asked him and he said, “Oh. Well, I was running around, and I accidentally kicked someone and then punched them… accidentally.” Because it is so easy to “accidentally” punch a person.
#3. Phoenix was the most ultimate Emo child last week. We don’t know why. But, he gets to pick out the biggest stuffed animal from the carnival.
#4. Jeremy was out of town for a few days. The first two days he was gone, the boys were awesome. Then Friday hit and wow… just wow… Because of Phoenix’s emo-ness there was some cut throat, knock-down, drag-out fights between the boys. It was intense. By the time Jeremy got home, I was ready to leave. A beach was calling my name, and I didn’t care which one it was. I ultimately decided to stay in Kentucky with my crazy family though. So, Friday night we decided to go eat, a celebration dinner for Jeremy coming back home. I was happy, Jeremy was happy, but a certain two boys melted down to only tears and anger upon getting in the car. Because… sitting on the left side or the right side of the car makes a child come close to emotional death. There was punching, throwing elbows, crying and screaming (now, mind you, I had been dealing with this for days so I was DONE) I turned around, gave them an “I’m going to kill you look” and screamed: “STOP! JUST STOP! STOP BEING ASSHOLES! LIFE IS REALLY, REALLY EASY. JUST LOVE EACH OTHER!” There were squeals and but…’s, but I wasn’t hearing another thing out of them. They stopped being assholes for the night, and we went and had a normal, happy, family dinner together.
While other Moms have significant life quotes like the ones I listed above… Last week, I was just up to my ears in assholes and elbows. Not everyone can win a Mom of the Year trophy. Some of us are just happy with an honorable mention ribbon for participation. Like Forrest Gump’s mom said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” I didn’t know which kids God would give me, and I didn’t get to pick them. If I had the chance to choose, I wouldn’t change a thing. See, I love my kids, and I love chocolate too. Some weeks with the boys it’s great and some weeks it is anything but. Just like boxes of chocolates… Sometimes you get a whole box full of really good ones and other times you get a box of terrible ones. Either way, you’re thankful for the fact that you actually had a box of chocolate given to you! Just squish your thumb into a bad one, call it an asshole, and grin and bear it because life without terrible coconut filled dark chocolates and bad weeks with kids wouldn’t be as exciting.
Peace, Love, and Jesus,